Post nº58: Burn To Ashes, Reborn Into Fire.

Finaly, vacations. I think I failed a subject again, which will make me lose another year in college, but it’s ok, for the next weeks…

Anyway, been doing some sketches, but been to lazy to scan or take decent pictures of them. They’re not really sofisticated, anyway.

Well, maybe I could do something about the phoenix, though…

Done in a notebook in like… seconds. Was listening to Amy Winehouse’s version of “It’s my party”, so a piece of the lyrics are there…

I drew one much like this in the wall of a night club (with help of a girl I met there). The picture is blurry… It looks better on the paper.

Post nº57: Dance In The Darkness

Dancing in the rain

In the night, in the rain

Of the blood spilling from my brains

Of the love slicing all my veins

Dancing in the rain

In the dark, in the rain

Of the tears of all the saints

Of all the sins that in my soul taints

Dancing in the rain

In the void, in the rain

Pour the water, wash my pain

In the night, in the rain

Post nº55: Kusudamas

I just can’t believe I haven’t yet posted a picture of the kusudamas I made. I don’t know if I already wrote about then, and didn’t look up, because I don’t really like to read old posts (I get the urge to delete most of then, did it once, so I don’t read anymore).

Kusudama means literally “medicine ball”. I was told they suck the bad energy, so you should burn then after some time. I think they’re pretty, and I love origami. It’s very theurapeutical. I done 1000 tsurus once. I just love it, it’s relaxing.

I haven’t made many models yet, there are some really cool ones I wanna learn. Maybe I’ll post then here once I’ve done then. Well, these are the models I’ve done so far:

I don’t know the name of these models, but I think they’re kinda common.

They use up a lot of paper, the 2 big ones have 30 pieces. I ran out of origami paper, and I heard the store in wich I bought these closed, so until I find a place that sells it I won’t be doing anymore. Maybe I’ll buy in the internet some.

Post nº47: Scribbles in the Notebook

Since I mentioned I’m always scribbling something, I though about getting my latest notebook and upload pictures of some of them.

The pictures are sloppy, sorry for that, but it was intentional: I don’t want anyone to mistake it for one of the things I put real effort in.

You’ll see some are unfinished. That’s because I probably had to take some notes of something important in the class and then didn’t finish. I usually don’t finish these if I stop in the middle.

Actualy, this one has a special meaning, but I won't talk about it in this post.

It's entirely made of dots. My pen broke while I was doing it.

The sloppy handwriting across the neck of the middle one is that way because it's from my left hand.

Post nº46: Tell Me About Yourself

Some hours ago, I found out I was nominated for the “Tell Me About Yourself Award” by Cate from Infinite Sadness… or what? . It was quite a surprise, and kind of made my day, I have to say.

I started this blog a year ago, still haven’t got much traffic, so it’s really a honor. Specially because I’ve been following Cate’s blog since I discovered it too.

So, acording to the rules of the award, it seems it works like this:

First, I thank and link to the blog of the person that nominated you before you start.

Then, tell the world  7 things I think that might be interesting about me.

Then, I should add my 7 nominees.

Well, I got 2 problems here by accepting this award:

1. The only blog I follow is from the person that nominated me, so that brings my list of nominees to 3.

2. I think I might have told most of the interesting things about me in my About page.

Well, I loved it and I realy like Cate’s blog, so just for linking her’s in mine I’ll give it a try.

So, I might repeat some things from my About page, but I’ll try to tell more than I do there.

So here I go. At first glance it seems like a list of things I love, but it’s more than that.

This is the last thing I made, used watercolor and black ink pen. It was in a rush, but I liked it. I have more published in my blog.

1. I love art. I like drawing, painting, folding, these kind of things. I also believe it’s really therapeutic, and since I’m kind of depressive, my art is usually kind… gnarled and depressive too. I’ve been told I had talent on it since I was a kid, but never develop this, mostly because of my family’s pressure for doing something that would make me earn more money, like Medicine or Law… I don’t blame my parents, though, they had a really rough childhood (specially my father, who had to endure even hunger). But I’m always scribbling something, as long I have a piece of paper near me, can be words or drawings.

2. When I was a kid, I loved to run away. I was really young, so I don’t remember all the times I did it. My family says that when I ran away from home (because I would run from school too) I usually was found near the city’s cemetery. We lived in a small city in the countryside until I was 7, so nothing really happened to me, and I was really easy to find, since everybody knew everybody there.

3. I love food. I love cooking, but what I love the most of it is eating. I kind of eat like a pig, still I’m kinda thin. My friends say I have a “hollow leg”, since the food must go somewhere… Oh, well, spices and different things, I love to try then, specially in travels, as long it doesn’t have seafood in it (it makes me sick).

4. I’ve been to college a few times already, even though I’m just 21. I studied Law for 4 months and Biology for 2 weeks (that explains it). I’ve also applied for Medicine, International Relationships, Cinema (passed but didn’t go because I passed in Psychology right after), Arts (I panicked in the practical test, didn’t pass… hope that’s the reason…), and Psychology, wich I’ve been studing since last year. I never really knew what I wanted to do, but I think I found myself in Psychology. It might sound ironic, a depressive being a psychologist, but my theraphist say’s I’m strangely good at it, and I think I’ll be fine untill I graduate. The “strangely” is my addition.

5. I want to have as many kids as I can raise. That’s why I wish I won the lottery or something, so I could raise a bunch of kids confortably with loads of time to spend with then. I want to have at least 2, but only if I can provide a good life for then.

6. I love water. Bathing, swimming, drinking it, I have no idea why, but just touching it already pleases me. So rivers, lakes, fountains, I love it all… but, when it comes to the beach, I hate it. Don’t know why, but I hate everything in a beach: be it of sand or stones, just hate it. Funny thing is that diving and swimming in the sea away from the beach is just awesome. Don’t know what my problem with the beach is, but it’s the only way to make me hate water. Unless it’s poluted, of course.

7. When I drink alcohool, and I shouldn’t, but I do, I become an evil crazy dancing bitch. Even though I don’t know how to dance. It doesn’t go well with my medication, and I kind of end up drinking too much, but when I go out is really hard to hold back. I just don’t go out then. I realy fear getting any kind of drug addiction, specialy because I want to have kids, and depressive people are kind of more vulnerable.

Oh, well, I think that does it. Now, for the nominees, I’m sorry if I’m breaking the rules, but I don’t really want to put just anyone here. Not that I think it would make a great difference for them, but I realy don’t think it’s the point of this to find ramdom people to throw here. So I searched for the blogs I had liked and commented before, and since Cate’s already mentioned, they’re just 3:

Lea & Jay (http://leaandjay.wordpress.com/) – my wildest dreams are to try all those food, specialy the Nutella, Double Chocolate & Banana Tart.

I love photography and traveling, and because of that these two caught my attention:

Charlotte Hu Photography (http://charlottehu.wordpress.com/)

Duane Pandorf (http://blog.duanepandorf.com/)

Post nº42: Strong Heart

This is my second try with watercolor. But I have to say I was quite pleased with the result, different from those weird goldfish…

Post n°38: Oh, crappy poems again…

The laughter of a crying heart

The reconstruction of a world that fell apart

The recovery of deep scars

The truth breaking all the lies

A very pleasant agony

An unremarkable piece of poetry

A shimmer of light

The first flap of wings that never flied

And here am I

Breaking the stone that sealed my heart

Removing the sword that tore it apart

Alive

Again

Am I?

Post nº34: Under The Tree

The morning dew dropped on his face and he woke up.
He had slept on the street again, and for some strange reason, that gave him a wild feeling of being alive.
He was under a big tree, the cold air seemed to press his lungs, and he couldn’t feel his feet. But it didn’t matter.
Well, actualy it did, but for the better. The slow freezing of his body was the perfec analogy for his feelings,
dieing slowly, in an unstopable, irreversible way. And he knew that after it was frozen, it would fall off, and never bother
him again. That strangely made the risk of losing both feet wildly desireable. His face distorted into a maniac grim smile and them
he noticed how crazy he was being. That unexpected hit of reality made him get desperate, and he started looking for help,
unable to open his mouth to do so, for some weird reason. He then decided to try and warm up his feet. When he started to
feel then again, they started to hurt like never before. He hated the pain and wished for a second he didn’t have to go trough
it. But then he realised that it would pass eventually. And he would then be painless, and with both feet.

Sometimes we can avoid the pain, but that just mutilates us. Facing it makes us stronger.

Post nº 33: A Moment of Madness

Sometimes I could explode.
I do not want to have a face.
Let me shout and dance in your room.
Remember all that was not said.
Make me forget the mistakes that were made.
We were the kings and queens of our universe.
Now we are the lost generation.
A moment of madness can ensure your sanity.
Practice it only if necessary.

Post nº28: Unexplainable

Life in it’s mediocrity and at the same time intoxicating beauty, seem in a nostalgic way and with no reason for distractions, untill the anger against everything and everyone filled the emptiest heart.

Won’t make sense to nobody? Because I’ve just witnessed and lived it.